so i've come to realize that i've basically let TAD take up my entire life. it's all i ever think about anymore. as soon as i get home, i'm on the computer, and i'm sick of it. i need to stop sitting around like a lump, and spending my life here. i need to focus on getting my lisence, and a job. instead of heading straight to the computer after driving, i'll take a walk, i'll go work out. lord knows i need it.
it's come to the point, that just thinking about Julie and Kaiden together makes me terribly nervous, like i have some sort of anxiety disorder. this is ridiculous, RPing is fun and i'll always love doing it, but this isn't a real world. i shouldn't have feelings for a made up character, like this is for real, and the person i love really is getting married to somebody else.
it's so bad, that i feel hatred towards Kaiden, i hate him so much that i don't even want to RP as Roy with him. i almost want Roy to hate him. this is a website, this isn't real life, and i need to realize that. i can't RP at that wedding, because it might just make me cry. it'll make me so nervous that i might make myself sick. that's crazy!
so what i'm trying to say is, i'm taking a long needed break from TAD. maybe it wont be too long, maybe it will. who knows, but me and Shannon think that i really need a break from it. once i get my lisence and a job TAD wont consume my whole life like i let it. and of course, i'll still get on it.
but like i said before, i need a break from here. i need to focus on very important things before i let myself become a total bum.