sleeping with the lights on.

Wesley sat on his porch, wondering how Cameron was doing. Hopefully she was doing well on her own, off in Adhbhar. He was scared for her...he'd always wanted to keep her safe, away from everyone on Annerb. Honestly, he was too scared to go back to Adhbhar with Cameron, or he might have.

He was afraid that he would be judged. He wasn't sure if even time could erase the memory of Charlie...He looked down at the thought of her, his eyes watering up a bit. All these years and he still wasn't over it all...

Lately, Rowan had had a lot of time to think. With pretty much over half his family gone now, he no longer had all his time occupied by taking care of them. Since over the years he had learned to finish his Overloridian work in the least amount of time possible in order to have the most amount of time possible with his family, he now had huge amounts of free time, which he usually spent thinking. About the past. About Charlie.

There was so much she had kept from him. Why hadn't she told him? Every question just opened up more questions. Rowan just felt so lost. And there was only one person who could help him, who could give him the answers he felt like he needed. And it was one of the last clio Rowan ever wanted to talk to.

Wesley.

Nonetheless, he felt like he needed to do this if he was ever going to get over this and move on. Even then he wasn't sure if he could do it. But he had to try something. So he reluctantly traveled to Annerb (praying he wouldn't run into Roburt) and went to Wesley's house that he somehow knew the location of.

He began to walk up to it, expecting to have a few seconds at least to prepare himself outside, but stopped suddenly when he saw that Wesley was sitting right outside. Er...awkward. He just stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do or say.

Wesley noticed immediately when someone started walking on his property. The guy looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place who it was...at first. Once the guy got closer to his porch and noticed him, looked right at him, he knew exactly who the guy standing in front of him was. It was Rowan Eligius, and Wesley had always had a feeling that this day would come.

"Rowan," he said, standing and looking down at him. He didn't like the feeling of superiority, looking down at this man that he knew Charlie loved so much. "Come on in." He turned and opened the door, waiting for Rowan to come up and inside.

Rowan looked up at Wesley. He looked ready for this. More ready than Rowan felt, anyways. To be honest, he was a little afraid. Afraid of what he might find out. He felt like his whole world was being turned upside down and inside out. Everything was changing, nothing was what he thought it was. He had felt similar to this once before, and it hadn't gone well. Only somehow this felt even bigger.

Rowan nodded, and wordlessly followed Wesley inside. "Wesley," he muttered by way of greeting, finding it difficult to meet the other man's eyes.

Wesley could tell that Rowan was nervous, and he had the right to be. He stopped all the avoiding of the eye contact and such by putting his hand on Rowan's shoulder and looking right at him.

"What is it?" he asked directly. "What's on your mind?"

Rowan was pretty sure Wesley knew perfectly well what was on his mind, but didn't blame him for asking. He felt out of place, standing here talking to Wesley. He had never liked Wesley much. In fact for a long time, he had harbored a fairly strong dislike of him. He had to put that aside for now, though.

"I came to talk about..." Rowan trailed off for a moment, before taking a quick breath and continuing. "I came to talk about Charlie."

Wesley nodded. "I thought so." He took his hand from Rowan's shoulder and moved to the kitchen table, pulling a chair out for Rowan before sitting down himself. "Take a seat, I'll tell you whatever you'd like to know."

Rowan slowly sat down. Wesley's hospitality and willingness to talk, though appreciated, wasn't doing much to make Rowan feel any more comfortable. He realized that, even all those years ago when he would see him all the time due to being with Charlie, he had never actually had a conversation with Wesley before. They had barely exchanged pleasantries.

"I--I don't even know where to begin," Rowan began with uncertainty. "Charlie...she--she had a child. I never knew, she never told me..." How could she not have told him? How could he not have known? Obviously she had kept it a complete secret, but how? Why?

Wesley blinked. Wait, what? Rowan knew about Cameron? Though he had expected that Rowan would come to him sometime to talk about Charlie, he didn't really think about Rowan ever meeting Cameron. Cameron hadn't been away from Annerb for that long, how did she manage to meet Rowan of all people in all of Amelia?

"Uh," he said, not sure how to address the topic of Cameron. "Yeah, Cameron," he replied with a nod. "Did you...meet her?"

"I did," Rowan nodded. The fact that Wesley didn't seem to know how to respond to that was a little unsettling. Wesley didn't seem sure of this at all anymore. "She's friends with my kids. My daughter Claire brought her to my house a while ago. It was...a bit of a shock."

"I would imagine," he said, wishing that Cameron would have told him that she met Rowan. Not that she would know how insanely important or strange it is or anything...he couldn't blame her for not telling him that she met her friend's father. "This is where she grew up," he said, not sure if that was the right thing to say or not. He glanced around the house anyway. It felt empty without her.

"I see..." Rowan replied slowly, sparing a glance around the house. It looked like a nice place for a child to grow up. "She's...she seems very...well brought up," he finished lamely. And it was true. Cameron seemed very happy and well-rounded minus the riot starting in Dahlin. But still... "But why--why didn't...?" Why didn't Charlie tell me she was pregnant? Why did she give you my daughter?

Wesley looked down. Rowan seemed really distressed at the fact that Cameron was a secret. He knew he had to tell him everything. He had never told anyone about this, but if he had to tell one person, it would be Rowan.

"Charlie got pregnant soon after Ria got pregnant," he said, going back to that time in his mind. It was so long ago. "She knew that you had enough stress being Overloridian and having one baby, she didn't want you to have to deal with another. She also knew that the people of Dian wouldn't like it that their Overloridian was having two babies with two different women at the same time...so she hid it from...well, everyone but me."

(Ironic. Rowan is having two different babies with two different women right now. And he doesn't know that one of them is his. HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF.)

Rowan stared straight ahead, not really seeing anything that was in front of him, taking everything in. So Cameron definitely was his, biologically speaking. He felt...a little hurt. He understood Charlie had been trying to look out for him, but she should have known that he wouldn't have cared about having two different babies with two different women. He would have handled multiple children. He had managed to raise five children, plus Ria. He could have raised Cameron too. And now he had missed the only chance he possibly had to raise the child he and Charlie had conceived together.

"Why didn't the disease," he asked, his voice hoarse, "affect Cameron?"

He was afraid he already knew the answer.

Wesley was afraid to make eye contact. He hated admitting all of this to Rowan. He could tell that Rowan was getting upset.

"The disease..." he said, trying to word it the right way. "She didn't die from an STD," he started, "she died from...birthing complications." He finally looked towards Rowan. "They didn't..." he tried to say the word "kill," but it just wasn't coming out. "They didn't come right away...they affected her at a later time." Of course he knew that Rowan could've figured that out, but it seemed more real when someone said it.

Birthing complications? So...she died because of Cameron--no. She didn't die because of Cameron. She didn't die because of Wesley like everyone thought. She died because of Rowan. Oh god.

"I...have to go," he said shakily, standing up abruptly. He felt like he was about to have a nervous breakdown and he didn't want to be around anyone, especially Wesley, if he did. He turned around and started to go, nearly tripping over the chair on the way out.

It felt like the day after Charlie died all over again. Only with guilt in addition to the grief.

Wesley watched as Rowan stood and left. He followed him, but didn't suggest otherwise. He knew that this would take a while to settle in, and Rowan would probably never accept it fully. Wes felt bad that he had to tell Rowan all that, but it was something he had to know. It would be better if he knew the truth, whether he thought so or not.

He sat back down in the chair after Rowan left, looking down at his hands as he fiddled his thumbs around some. That visit wasn't the best...

END